Perfect connect...

How do we know, who is it? We meet uncountable number of people in our life. So how exactly do we know, with whom spending life would be worthwhile. Is there a formula or a set pattern to figure it out? Hasnt it been more than once, when we feel that this is the person for me?

Then just how do people out there, make the decision?

I have my little theory on this one too!

When we meet people we make connections with them, some of them become really strong. These connections become a part of our life. My friend Purple says,’ i have some connections in my life so strong that inspite of being out of touch for ages, we have made a comeback with the same intensity.’

I believe in connections, i understand when people use the phrase, ‘we just clicked.’ My confusion here is, how do i decide with which connection I would like to go ahead in my life and maybe get married and have a family? I always thought that one can love just one at a time [here by love i mean the true kinds!] But I was introduced to a very interesting perspective about this by purple, she says.’ At a time one can love more than one person[and she meant the true kinds] its just one has to decide, which love is worth taking further and which one is not. Many wont agree to this, but the few ones who have experienced this, would know what i am talking about.’

After hearing to this, I have been thinking,Ii wouldn’t disagree with purple, I would just put it into another words. There are many instances, when two people in a romantic relationship, over a period of time realize that they are very good friends and not exactly a romantic couple. I know, that friendship is very important in any relationship. But in this case, its upto the couple, if they wish to continue their romantic friendship connection, or they want to look out for ‘The Love’ connection if the later option is chosen then, its usually a mutual break up, but its a break up of romance, the friendship stays intact and it does not hurt either of them. And they go ahead to find their love. Here the person made a choice of the connection.

Which leaves me to think, if I ever have to choose my connection, which one would that be, ’romantic friendship’ connection’ or ‘the love’ connection?

Which would be my perfect connect?

If nothing then...

And its love, a little of compassion
With some more passion and burning fire,
If nothing then you can name it lust.
I spread my arms, stretch my fingers to trace you out of somewhere
I found some one, that’s not you, not at all you.
When do all dreams come true? Maybe fantasy this is…
So I pull him closer, and he grips my hair,
I divulge, I like, I say, love can wait…
If nothing then you can name it lust.
Days go, weeks pass, seasons change,
Again I see the budge happening,
The budge from fantasy to dream…
Out there I am again, to trace you out of somewhere,
Will this be the love I yearn or yet one of my phase I lust..
Between the conventional and the unconventional caught up me,
Churning the thoughts and the heart, I marvel, I see..
and then it strikes,
Let the storm blow me along, let I feel the madness along
Soon a day will rest me, I know,
Till then I be with some more passion and burning fire,
If nothing then you can name it lust.

My lil' clandestine...

Wow! yes this is exactly how I would like to sum up my present. Here wow is not just a word for excellence or brilliance; it slightly leans towards, unbelievably phenomenal occurrences in my life!

So much to say, so much to write, lets see if I can sum it up in few simple comprehensive lines.

I have adorned the tiara of the unexpected, literally! And for once I am not blabbering about it as I want to see it unfold on my own without any outer influence. Whatever the result be, it would be completely my responsibility, hence it’s a lil clandestine I share with me!

I have noticed, the feeling of keeping to yourself is different. No I am not turning out to be a loner or any other synonym to it. Its just an experiment I am conducting and this time the subject is me. Its interesting to see how your mind works on your own, when its not caught up with someone else’s. Your mind is conflicting with itself. It asks a question and finds the answer too to it. [It has to, as there is no external source to help it.]

I have been observing different facets of my mind since I have begun this experiment, the best one out of all is that I am able to think quicker, write better. I am absolutely clueless about the connection of the result and the experiment, but I am in the process of finding it out. Maybe its just a phase, maybe its not. But meanwhile the experiment is on! Meanwhile I am enjoying the secret affair of my mind and me! And as all affairs/relationships start out sweet and romantic, this one too is the same!

I owe it to me...

Aright, so at times things don’t work well, they don’t fall in place well, the puzzle doesn’t solve. So what? It happens to you also, to him or her also and to me also. Inspite of it being a big deal, its not a big deal!

Some pointers which I am very well AWARE [theoretically] and I fail to practice, but I know I MUST –

1 – The bigger you make the issue, that bigger it gets. Its like parenting the issue, giving it nutrition, care and nurture, so that it grows well.

Cut it out! Nip it in the bud. Remember, no issue is bigger than you!

2 – Do not dwell on it, thinking of possibilities how worse it could get.

Zip it out!

3 – its not a problem, its an issue. Just the word ‘problem’, sends out a negative vibe.

4 – Smile, it really helps! :-)

5 – Believe in yourself, you deserve the best, again ‘best’ is very subjective.

So it could be you deserve, everything you wish!

My friend purple says, 'Don’t think too much, because doing so, you will not come up with anything, plus you would be wasting your time doing so. Listen to everyone, every single person around you [ this way you would know what they really are, hypocrites, sadists, genuine, loving or adorable] but always do what that tiny voice in the back of your head asks you to do. Now, if you cant hear that voice, then there is chaos inside you, try to calm it down to hear that voice and follow it!

Giving a thought to what purple said, it does make sense to me!

Live it guys, live your life. By living I don’t mean, simply fulfilling the basic necessities, go out of the way, surprise yourself, commit sins, indulge,

We spend our childhood doing all the good things [ courtesy : constant parental attention]

Analyzing, contemplating, we can do it later. For NOW lets do things, loads of things, so that later in life, when we have absolutely nothing to do, other than look at our wrinkled faces, and bear the pain in our knee, then we could atleast analyze, smile, curse looking back at all the things we have done.

We owe it to ourselves. I owe it to me, that smile, that satisfaction, that happiness, that pleasure, is for me.

For him…its you

I always knew, it was someone else for you…

It would be her smile…that twinkle in her eye…

For which your heart would skip a beat..

After all the prince charmings and all knights in shining armour,

I feel my heart flip when I see you,

All the attention I get around, I let go..

the slight notice from you, Makes me take a notice

The castle, I start building, the future I start dreaming…

Is when there is a small tap,

Tap tap and my heart flaps.

‘you dream, you smile, but he is mine,

and its not just me who says,

Its him who too prays’….and here is a secret little

My dear girl. You knew it too, he was not for you!’

My lips twist, but only for a smile,

A smile that says it all…

For him who prays for you,

But for me, who adores him..

As silent as a whisper, I fancy his joy

And if its you, his joy

Then I remind myself

I always knew, it was someone else for you!

Just...

Its been long since my last post..and lots have happened since then.

If I have to think about learnings from it, then well, not yet, havnt arrived at that mind set as yet to analyze the situations.Things are happening and I am not able to control it even a tiny bit. One of the things which is taking a toll over me is that I know what I want, but I am not able to do it because certain constraints or maybe I am just not ready to take a risk. My brain just doesn’t stop thinking about every single thing, but implementation is zero. There is so much of work to be done on me, I realize now.

Sale - no sale, its all about the right choice!

The major sale season is almost over, [to be precise would be over on the 5^th of march]

Needless to say, its one of my favorite season, one season which I enjoy to the fullest..

Out of the sales everywhere, the best ones were the malls [I love malls]

Both the pune centrals, lifestyle, both shopper’s stops, SGS mall, jewel square.

Pune central

It has been renovated a while go, and has a huge Indian wear collection in the basement.

With many new brands introduced. But if you are looking for a variety in western apparel, then it has to be Pune central [university rd]. It has good collection [colours, styles, sizes, brands] and for the foodies, a decent food court too.

For this sale season, I wasn’t disappointed at these malls at all. I felt this was one of centrals’s best sale in terms of availibilty of variety of apparels.

Overall as a mall – its good

Lifestyle

The major attraction for me here is their in house brand,’Ginger’ A young vibrant brand.

Girls who are into funky Tees, checkout Ginger, reasonable rates, bright colours, fun slogans. I like it. Also their bags and footwear are not to be missed! I got introduced to the brand ‘Forever new’ at lifestyle for the 1^st time.

FYI – Forever new is one brand which I can say I saw it reaching the skies[in terms of pricing] It’s a very feminine brand. I have seen the rates literally multiplying every year!

The lifestyle sale was strictly ok this time.

Overall as a mall – I feel it needs to do something about it. The billing method/the attendants/salesmen, something really needs to be done about it. Except for the sales girl at the lingerie section, the rest of the staff have no clue, what are they upto.

SGS mall

If I would be going there, that would only be for munching, not for shopping.

Its not my favorite mall and last option to go for shopping. It has Westside.

Well, Westside, once upon a time used to be in my favorite list, its had amazing sportswear. But gradually, Westside has gone bad. Its repetitive with its designs, there is nothing new to offer.[if floral, and garden prints are what they like, then please get innovative in that atleast]

I have no clue about the sale here!

Shopping wise the good thing there is the brands of jeans, ad jeans is something which we don’t by very often. That’s why, SGS is not a shopping destination for me.

Overall as a mall – its decent, just that the crowd there these days is hmmm [not so good]

Shoppers stop.

The 1^st mall in pune. Shoppers stop wakdewadi, I have nothing to say. Its just not me!

The Shopper stop nucleus mall, I like it. Its not too big, but still, it doesn’t disappoint me.

The only hitch, I find is they don’t have BIBA kurtis, there is just the whole salwar kameez ssts. The in house brand STOP, is not very great. Especially their churidars/leggings, are a strict no-no.The best churidars/leggings are those of W and biba!

The best part of shoppers stop nucleus mall is their salesmen, specially at the footwear section. They are exceptionally good, helpful and will definitely help you find what you want. The sale was good. The crowd is always decent.

Overall as a mall – if you go to shoppers stop after a gap, you will always like this mall! Just don’t be regular there.!

Jewels square

The visit to this mall I try to keep it as less as possible. Reason being – it burns big holes in my pretty pockets!

The sale this time was unexpectedly good here. The brands I watch out here, are MUAH, AND, CHEMISTRY,

MANGO sucks here! Its just the pune collection, I have seen MANGO collection at Mumbai and it seems, that all rejected stuff is displayed at the pune MANGO.

PROMOD lacks colours.

The best thing that jewel square brought in pune is and improvised trend of lingerie shopping. It is expensive but it is totally worth it. Girls save a little extra, but don’t compromise on this one!

Awaiting the next sale season! untill then shopping goes on!

Sunday, the 13th

Today is my 5th day of 7 day positivity activity and today i want to thank those people of whom i don’t have to be worried of being judged or give them justifications. These are the people, i can be absolutely myself!

1 – Joysingh – jessy and baldeep, both these names will always come together in my life always! Describing the relation i share with them is beyond my words. I love you jess and love you my saxy! Muah!

2 – Fatanglu and Menon[priyanka] – Fatanglu who has seen/accepted/tolerated all my tantrums and mood swings without a single complain! And Menon, well...hush...hush...giggle..giggle...look here and there...giggle...hush...[to the 3rd person] ya..so what were you saying...

3 – Maathya – have had some of the best of time with him. The crazy bike rides and trips to sheesha, sitting on the footpath, gymming together and just being totally mad!

These are few people who affect my day to day life, most of the times making each day memorable[ it could be fun, awesome, not so good, bad at times...but always memorable!]

4 – penaaz and ninad – for obvious reasons!

5 – The MA team – penaaz[again], vinay, shraddha and the others. All the bournville moments, gossips, tiny-winy work. It is awesome with you guys!

6 – The programming team[my team], Aditi, Smita, Roshan, Ninad, Mrunmayee, Yogesh, Sarang, Ashish and sherry. All those songs, leg pulling, teasing, laughters, all fun. A full on fun team!

7 – i am very very very thankful to aroma cafe[the pradhikaran one]

8 – And for there being rivers and seas and beaches! I love water, love being beside it, it is the most pleasant sight for me! [thats why my love for Goa..!]

While writing this, my heart is filled with abundance of gratitude for everything around me. I am glad i am doing this!

Saturday, the 12th

And here goes my thank you list...

1 – I am thankful that i have a car, It does burn a lot of money, my leg hurts at times driving in the mad traffic, but nevertheless I love driving my car, don’t have to worry about anything, when i am in my car!

2 – I thankful that there is something called is CURDS. I love applying curds to my hair, It makes it clean, smooth, shiny and so soft[ i just applied it!]. and it does not cost me!

3 – Thankful to my brother Abhishek, to introduce me to the world of Harry potter, who instilled reading habit into me and who helped me build in the bollywood madness in me.

4 – To my cousins chicky-micky! They are my babies!

5 – To Eric Segal, for all the books! I love them all, and my favourite is DOCTORS!

6 – To Deepti, Penaaz and Ninad to give me the name CINDRELLA [ for what ever reason it is!] i like it!

7 – For there being an action like a, ‘KISS and a SMOOCH’...! [I am sure, all of us would be thankful for it..! ;-)..]

Had been home today for just few hours to surprise my mom! And she told me that even she is following this activity i told her to..! And i don’t know if she feels any change, but i saw how she was extremely excited about our love birds laying eggs. All the while i was there; she kept insisting me to come up the terrace to see them! I kept thinking about it all the way when i was driving back from my home.I loved seeing her this way today!

Friday, the 11th

As I open my word document to continue with my 7 day positivity activity I feel all happy and excited and I keep looking at the screen for the document to open fast!

1 – The 1^st thing I would like to thank today is, TODAY, yes, it has been a very beautiful day so far and has given me all good, vibrant and enthusiastic energy. Its one of those days, which I totally love, and don’t care about anything! Huge thanks to all such days which have come in my life and which will come ahead!

2 – For me being born here in Pune, to my parents, [there are several reasons for this, but for today there is just one] and that is Bryan Adams concert in pune!! And yes I am going!

3 – To all those people who have gifted me such wonderful gifts, which I have decorated on my desk and I love my desk, its [one of] my comfort space at my work place!

4 – For me having the ability to hear, because I hear radio/music all day long and I love it, especially when now I am hearing about the Bryan adams concert tonight!

5 – For there being malls [for obvious reasons!]

6 - For there being a camera, I have tons and tons of pictures of me[self obsessed I am, is what many say] and my friends, and love looking at them and remembering the moments when they were clicked!

I have realized one thing, when I start writing, I get so hyper active that there is cyclone of though in my mind. And the thoughts that come out of that cyclone are the ones that I pen down!

Thursday, the 10th

Its that time of the day to thank! To be grateful!

1 – to the song ‘you sang to me’ by Marc Anthony, I am listening to it right now and I listen to it always! I just love it!

2 – to the song ,’when you know’ from the movie serendipity! And to all utterly mushy, stupidly romantic films! I am in love with romance and I romance love, these two feelings/emotions make me and I am thankful to them!

3 – For having Penaaz near me, I am extra thankful for having her in my office.

4 – I am thankful to My job, Radio Mirchi, for giving me some really nice people, some great moments, and some lessons!

5 – Thankful to Prachir, Prerna, and Manisha for giving me Mirchi!

6 – To my new phone, it was totally awesome chatting last night from my new phone!

7 – For the colour PURPLE!

When I decided on doing this 7 day positivity activity, Mohan told me, from the 3^rd day it will get repetitive.

Today just being the second day, when I started writing, I realized, there are just so so so many things to be thankful to!

7 day positivity - Wednesday, the 9th

'Try to find happiness in small things' is one piece of advice which anybody and everybody distribute around the world. Wonder how many of them actually find that tiny-winy bit of happiness? Its is a very ‘KOOL’ or ‘IN’ thing to say!

Today I have decided to practice what we ALL preach! Yes, I was contemplating it for long now, but I chose today, its 9^th [multiple of 3(my favorite no) ] and its Wednesday[ its mid week, one of my favorite day]! These reasons might look silly to many, but for me they are reasonable. So I begin today the 7 day positivity, where for next 7 days I will write at least 5 things for which I am thankful.

Wednesday, the 9^th

1 – I am blessed to be born in the era of Lata Mangeshkar. While writing this, I am hearing her, and for me she is God. Her voice for my ears are pure magic!

2 – I am thankful to Rj Aditi for flaunting my wardrobe [rather a very small part of it] amongst her friends. I love praises, specially when its for my apparels!

3 – To Prerna, for being a part of my madness yesterday and we bought exactly same set of phones! Oh! It was fun!

4 – To that night, when we had a night out at saxy sardar’s place, and for the 1^st time I experienced a high!

5 – For there being a computer, because I would have hated to write this with a pen [lazy I am]

My girl friends...!

I have never had many girlfriends, always got along very well with the guys, [havn't figured out the reason yet, don’t feel the need either]. Today, i am proud to have those few girls, who have been in my life, and seen me through my most sober, to most bitchy times. And today i want to thank them for not only being a mere spectator of my life, but being a part of the role i’ve played these 23 years of my life!

Jessy Joy

'you know me, you know her’. I wouldn’t even try counting years for how long we have been together, have lost count. People have always seen and known us together. If its 10.30 in the night, I might call someone else and not her to tell the reason for my trouble. [ She goes into the world of slumberland after 10.30 pm] But i will never have to relate the whole incident to her, she knows me so well, that just a word out from me, and she would know what is wrong with me! We literally live each other’s life and dare anyone point a figure to her or me! Then toh you are goneee!

P.S - our combination is incomplete without saxy sardar!

Priyanka Menon

Its been a wonderful 3 years [approximately] with menon! This girlfriend of mine is as honest, deceitful, adventurous, judgemental, nympho, mad, loving, sincere, passionate, and emotional as I am! [ I know you would agree with each and every adjective i have used here.. ;-)] After spending half of my life with My best girlfriend Jessy, i met menon and thought, ’it would be nothing but fun..!’ and its been so true, living each other’s fantasies! ;-) We both believe, ’we do what we like, if you appreciate, we like it, if you bitch, we love it more!’

P.S - Our combination is incomplete without fatanglu

Dimple Shivarajan

What do i tell about my little sweet and sexy daughter! The world calls her dabba, for me she’ll always be my dimps! It’s said that all big things come in small packages and she is a perfect example of it! You cant miss her and if you meet her once, you cant forget her, she does have a charisma, which cannot go unnoticed!

P.S - our combination is incomplete without N.N and P.P...!

Penaaz sheikh

Met her around 9 months back just doesn’t seem so. She is the 1^st face I look for when I enter or exit my office! Around 12 in the night if my sms tone beeps, i know it is her. Not a chance we let go of chit-chatting stupid silly things! There are a lot more things i have to say about her and us, but it could be a little controversial, [I'm sure you will understand... ;-)]

P.S - Our combination is incomplete without Mohan

We all are different, but yet alike. What bonds me to them is my abundance love for them, my addiction to them, not a chapter i want in my life without my sweethearts! Luv you so much my girls! You all are simply beautiful, awesome and mind blowing girls!

P.S – other thing that bonds us, is the love for shopping and detestation towards people with bad dressing sense![ I know its not cool, but that is how we are, in our own very way, sexy, hottie bitches!]

Blame-game..not this time, let the dogs bark!

For a past few months, I was just in the process of knowing myself, and the process is still on.

Today morning my best friend messaged me, she gave me news which wasn’t very pleasant and had she told me this maybe a month or two back I would have re-acted to it.

I would have rather been upset, depressed, blamed my destiny, blamed myself, blamed the whole world and cried out my lungs!

But today when I read it, I kept the phone aside, because I had work, I replied after my work and asked my friend to leave it aside. I dint cry, no blame game, no dark shadows, no dementor moments!

I would be lying if I would say that it did not affect me, it did, but I feel today I am a much evolved person than I was yesterday.

And to my best friend - Baby, let the dogs bark, after all, they will remain dogs, and their barks will be nothing more than loud, disturbing nuisance!