There is more to this...love

Can we call it off, wait for a while, rest and then start?

When life doesn’t wait for us, why do we wait for life to happen and then have unnecessary expectations. These ceaseless efforts and mind games we play to live a life which we are not even sure of. How unwanted and rewardless is this struggle, have we ever thought? What is with this whole perspective that only if we sweat it out, we will gain something.  Not everything requires hardwork, there are many of which we are worthy of and we have to learn to accept it with ease!

We need to be tutored to learn to live in the moment. We slaughter the good times, worrying about the future, and we make the bad times worse by complaining there is never good time! Why do we do this to ourselves? Constantly surviving in the self-destructive mode, we successfully close doors to abundance, success, love, positivity and create doorways to confusion, fears, negativity, sadness!

Its ok to have doubts but its not ok to not do anything about them. Yes there are times when you relate the least to the belief.’everything happens for good’. There are times when we say, we don’t want the best in future, we want what we had now, in the present! And then there are times, despite of all odds, somewhere deep you just believe, ‘ There is more to this’

Whatever the feelings are, all I want to say is, feel all, live all, love all because everything comes and goes, but love never ends! So even if i decide to call it off, wait for a while, rest and then start, I would still be calling it off, being in love, waiting for awhile in love, resting in love and then starting in love! J

Happy valentines day!

Its the valentines month...an excuse I have to write about love! And to flaunt my date! Yes, I have a date this valentines [finally!!] not just one, but many! This time I am celebrating all my close relationships! At this very moment am at the stage where I feel loved and I love all! Its the evolution time of my life now! I am thinking/doing things which I never did before, I am feeling happy at the smallest gesture, suddenly I am full of gratitude towards life! Yes sometimes I do feel a pull, a small tug to look back in the past, but my present is embracing me so beautifully that I might feel the pull, but I am not looking back, the future seems so tempting after all! I am falling in love with me and the people who hooked ‘me and me’ up...a few words for you guys!

Prerna – You have been one of the biggest help in helping me realize that there is so much to us and so much more to life and we could live all of it! Happy valentines day to u!

Saxy – My jaw line is getting a lot of exercise these days! I smile a lot and a lot!Soon people will think I am insane! You have always made me happy.Even in the most hopeless days, you have managed to bring me a smile! Happy valentines day saxy! Love u! Muah!

Jess – We are reaching onto completely new levels these days! ;-) [ aren’t we?!] I will just give one [decent] example – we speak after 10 p.m!!! [yes, its thrilling] I always thought that we already knew each other the best, it cant go beyond these, but surprisingly [in a good way] there is a lot beyond this, we are learning life together! Love you baby! Happy valentines day!

Fatanglu – Yes I will always call you that! You have always made me believe that I am awesome! One of my biggest support. Thank you for being there! Love you fatanglu! Happy valentines day!

My family – good, bad, awesome, love, pain everything i experience, is because of you guys, I got this life because of you. I love you, happy valentines day!

And lots of love and hugs to 

Penaaz, my pink bitch!

Priyanka, my partner in certain thoughts! ;-)

Dimple, a mad, crazy totally adorable friend!

Nitesh, for being there with all your excuses and happy, memorable moments! 

Ninad for inspiring me always and being a gemini friend!!

Happy valentines day people, This valentines day, you all are my date! 

My threesome...!

Lot of changes, plenty of lessons and learning and the more I learn, the more will be my learning, it is a continuous cycle! Best part of these life lessons are the varied experience in a short frame of time. It is amazing how we respond to ourselves. It is , I would like to say ,’miraculous’ how things start aligning even when we give the slightest of hint of what we desire!

Funny are the times, when we realize, ’What! I did this to myself?! What was I thinking?!’

And then there are realizations where we come to know, each and every wish of ours has always been granted, and immediately next we realize.. Damn! The words i chose were wrong, this is not what I had wanted!’ and then is the learning – ‘Wish wisely, after all they do come true!’

Basically, self exploring mode is on! Its amazing to see how much we have got with us! At times it feels good to see our potential to be so much better, sometimes , it does get sad to know that its us who get in our own way. But we pick up the learning and move on to the next lesson.

The desire has always been there, the drive has always been there, the destination was always decided, however this time I choose to make the journey worthwhile! And yes, it has begun, the only difference this time is, i am trying to be aware of this journey! Awareness is the key word here! With it follows, love, happiness, understanding, peace, truth, commitments!

Its just that we love ourselves, and we love people around us and in this whole love affair we end up doing things which are not exactly very lovely! Love gets in the way of love and life gets in the way of life! But from here onwards, love and life will walk with me in my journey! Wonderful partners they make! It’s a threesome I have there – love, life and me! Cheers! ;-)

Excitement in Simplicity...

Why does it become so easy to like something or someone and then so very difficult to let it go and move away from it/them? A part of us likes to cling on[we might not admit, but we all do it..unknowingly] and a part of us also likes the fact that someone else too clings on to us [again we would refuse to admit]. My point here is, why do we become so weak or if I may say, so stupid? Why do we drive ourselves into unwanted zones and then expect to be wanted there! Dint we read the sign at the beginning itself ‘not wanted’. We make an excuse here too,’ we thought we could change things’ Really? Why would we think so!? 

Why are we hell bent on having so much of drama? Not only it takes away time, energy, emotions, gives you pain, but it also keeps you away from the good things of life, things that we deserve, things that are best for us.

If we are sad, we will listen to sad songs! Why? We are already sad, why do we want to feel more sad and lost. Are we secretly enjoying our sadness? How harmful is this! Imagine this - We are the biggest hurdle of our life.

We like stories, and we like them more if they have twists and we do that to our lives too, create unnecessary twists and hurdles in life. Seriously when I actually sit down and think, I know it for sure, life isn’t that difficult as we make it, its simple, its easy, we just need to slightly shift our perspective and then everything will be clear! Its shocking to believe how we make our life exactly opposite of what we have thought. Its all the game of desires and the inner most desires. We need to figure both of them out! Lets put an end to self-destruction. How much ever I love drama, today I take my step towards a drama-free life, I say no to drama, yes to simplicity! I say no to self created hurdles and yes to life’s gifts for me! I refuse to screenplay my life and accept the suspense, because there lies excitement in simplicity too!

Why not me?

Why not me?

I know someday the flowers, you will notice,

The fragrance you will enjoy,

When the shield of love will be around you,

When the longingness of being together will hold you

I know one day, the magic will work,

Here goes the wand and there will be the misty love!

And then will start the series of stories,

‘I once knew no love, but all I know today is only love!’

It will all be about her, the day, the night, the moon, the stars!

I know someday, you too would enchanted..

What i really don’t know is..

Why not me?

Its the horizon you see, which is just an illusion,

A trick we let ourselves tricked into

I wonder am i the trick or its the horizon?

Let the reality go by,

I wish I could be atleast an illusion

Be a desire, be a little wanted, be a small dream..

I know someday the world will be different for you

I wonder, why I couldn’t build that..

I just think..

Why not me?

To the man who introduced me to love...

This blog is about me, every word here describes me, my emotions, my thoughts. I just had to write a few words about one of the most intimate part of my life – movies. And in this part of my life, the dean was, is and always be Yash Chopra!

My words might not be able to do justice, but this is my way of paying tribute to the man who introduced ‘love’ in my life! He gave me the angry young man and later turned him into this extremely romantic man that I till date drool – Mr. Bachchan! 

He gave me silsila where i cannot take my eyes off, 

of my favourite pair Amitabh-rekha. 

Everytime i watch Rekha in silsila 

and everytime i go like ’wow’! 

The brilliance of ‘lamhe’ still leaves me

speechless! 

And I don’t remember since when i have been going like ‘shona shona shona..chandni..oh meri chandni’! The intense romantic scenes, the rain sequences, chiffon saris, lata mangeshkar’s songs! It has always been just so awesome!

Why? Oh why don’t we have more of his films! I was disappointed when he announced ‘jab tak hai jaan’ as his last movie, and i told my friends, ‘oh he is just saying it, you see in couple of years, he will announce his next movie!’ 

There is so much to write, feel, talk. 

I would rather sum it up in this line - 

I love him, respect him, idolize him. Yashji, you will always be the best!

him...him...him [how many more] and her...

How bad could it get, when it was only the best she thought,

He was the bad boy, she found good in him too!

In the matured one, she found the child!

He was Mr. Perfect, little mischief deeds here and there kept her smiling!

With someone who wanted nothing, she left saying she could never have nothing to give!

When there were plans of life ahead, the sunset decided a different course!

Then there is him who wants less, but silently wishes all, she gives him all silently,willingly...

For every him, she somehow turned out to be the step before the ultimate happiness!

Where does she step now? Is she someone’s ultimate?

How bad could it get, when it was only the best she thought.

Some one’s fantasy, some one’s rebound,

In her kitty she carries her question mark..

Is here her answer?

is this the end of the search or beginning of a new find?

Wish she takes a step back, only if she would know, there is more to her best!

Only if she could stop playing with the words ‘i am fine’...

Only if she could break down and hate them all!

Maybe if she would stop looking for, she would find one!

How bad could it get, when it was only the best she thought.