Tuesday, December 30, 2014

You are a 27 year old single girl, shame on you.

You are a 27 year old single girl, shame on you.
Your parents are dying because the society is mocking them.
Your grandparents are dying, because they are dying to see their grandchildren get married.
Your relatives are dying, they are dying of concern, because you are a 27 year old single.
And you are confused and wondering what is the fuss about, why is everybody dying, stressed, embarrassed?
Oh you wouldn’t know this, because you are not a parent of a 27 year old single girl.[Oops!]

So are you against marriage?

Then what is your problem, just talk to the guys from the various matrimonial sites.
They are good, they look good, tall, educated, abroad-citizen, well-to-do families. So what else could you possible want?

You are not able to blend with the arranged marriage scenario? 

Hell! Why not? Every other girl in this country is getting hitched in the same way, what’s your excuse?
Oh, so it just doesn’t feel right to you, and you feel tortured?

Now you are just behaving like a rigid, self-centered, selfish, ignorant girl who doesn’t know how the society works, you have no clue girl.

But she does feel tortured, she feels chained and sad, she is unable to live her daily life in the way she always does, she is unable to do the things that she loves doing and comes naturally to her, this is not the way she can walk.
She is a right-handed person, as much she tries, She can never be a left-handed.
Does this sound dramatic to you? You feel she is living in her own make-belief world? Its not drama, it hurts..

Well, for instance..
how do you feel when your marriage falls apart?
When you are not able to conceive babies?
You have the best degrees and work experience, but are sitting jobless at home?
You are extremely passionate about your work, but still it doesn’t work?
You are a vegetarian but are forced to try meat?

[I could just go on]

Don’t you feel dejected? Don’t you still want to believe in yourself?
Then why does the 27 year old single girl has to be dramatic if she is not able to go with the conventional way?
Oh, is it because, she has always done things differently since she was a child? Or is it, her thoughts sometimes appears way to bold for your belief-system?  Or is it that she dares to be the way she wants to be?
Yes, one should try various things, but at the end one always comes back to oneself. 
Why is home the best and the safest place on the earth?
Because it is yours, it knows you, you don’t have to pretend. So you can go wherever or for however long, but you always return to your home.
That 27 year old, tried the way which the ‘dying’ society appreciates but she couldn’t live in that and she wants to return to her home [to being herself]

C’mon, all these are just words, you will grow old, you won't be able to have babies and then you will start being lonely without a man in your life. And then what would you do?

But, all of us are anyways growing old, and what if she doesn’t want babies and what if  is she doesn’t need a man? And if at all she has to, she can have a partner at any given age. Why does she have to go through the mess for something which doesn’t even exist right now? Yes, she wants to get married, but not settle for it just because of age/society. Just let her be! She is done fine for herself uptil now, She will do fine in future too. Just let her be!

Because, she is a 27 year old single girl. Shame on her.
You can only be happy if you are married to man [preferably of your own caste, I guess, they come with certain guarantees]
And what about your parents who have lived more than half of their lives in their own way, you want to let them down?

But what about her? She doesn't fit in their ways of thinking.
Its simple people, if she is a size 28, why would she wear a 32.

Because, your parents know the best, and if they say 32, its 32.

It doesn’t make any sense.

Its not about the sense, its about the society and only society makes sense.
So you are nothing but a 27 year old, single girl, who has a different set of beliefs and God alone knows, why can't you just drop those beliefs, stop trusting yourself and surrender to the conventional ways of this society. Why can't you just do what every other girl does?

Because, she is a shameless, 27 year old girl, and she believes in her beliefs and she will honor them. She will not go against her core.
She is this way, because the universe intended to make her like this and the universe will take care of it. She is not here to explain her pain and her suffering nor is she here to become a subject to anybody else’s pains and sufferings.
So yes, She is a 27 year old single girl and she puts down her foot today.
She doesn't care if people think that this is a drama. If you think its a drama, applaud and/or leave the auditorium.

P.S – This one is for all those single people out there living under the pressures of the so called matrimonial bliss that they are missing.
You are not missing anything, except the present which is promising you happiness, but you choose to let society bog you down and feel miserable.
Rebel, if you have to. And take the statement’Everyone is unique’ in a damn serious manner. We were taught this as kids, right?!
And to all the married people out there, Marriage is a beautiful institution only when one marries for all the right reasons and from the heart. So kudos to you couples who are happily married.

Monday, December 15, 2014

All within...

Crazy love do you exist?
If you are asking this question, you are not crazy enough!

Happily ever after, is that a fiction?
If you are not happy today, is there even an ever-after.

Is love for real?
Are you breathing for real?

Things fall apart, hearts break.
There are stormy nights, also sunny days.

What about my story? What does it say?
Its your story, write it the way you want, the more you are honest, the blessed you’ll be.

When I am sad? I have tears?
Your heart is full of emotions, its alive, it’s a gloomy day.

I am taken care off, right?
Honey, he has the sun-moon-stars at your service!

I sometimes just lose it.
That’s the beauty, that you always get back!

I feel better with all the answers now!
You had them all within!

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Spiritual Fat-Loss..

Finally I have decided to write about my journey of fat loss. People have been asking me and often and  I find it difficult to explain, I don’t have things to say what they want to hear about the fat loss. In this post, I will be taking you through my journey. It’s not necessary that this is the only way of doing it or it’s the right way. This is just my way, and I am sure there are various ways out there, you just need to figure yours.
Fitness, gym, good food has always been a part of my life as my mother owns a health club. I have grown up knowing the benefits of treating your body right. I have been working out since a very young age, but I was always this tall-heavy girl. I wasn't depressed or sad about it at all. I never missed onto anything because I was not of a particular shape or leaner /slimmer. I got the attention, I always stood out, had my own style and had a great set of people around me, no medical issues either and I was fit. So I never had any desire as such to lose weight for an external factor.

Spiritual journey

There are plenty of reasons behind our body types

-Our lifestyle
-Medical issues
-Our mind-spirit-body balance

Many a times in spite of us being very particular about our eating habits and workout regimes and also medically fit we tend to remain over-weight, have we tried knowing what could be the reason? Here are some more reasons for our over-weight issues

-Not being able to let go of past
-Fear or trust issues
-Not making the required change when needed
-Blocked energies
In such cases, if we don’t release the blocks and break the patterns, the issues stay in our body in form of fat, for some people they get medical problems like high BP, heart problems etc, for some it reflects on their personal or professional life and for some it reflects on the skin or body fat or extreme weight loss too.
In around 2010 I got in touch with my spiritual side, I started working on myself, meditation, affirmations, crystals, releasing blocks, manifestations, balance, awareness etc. Mandalas have been a beautiful partner in this journey with me. While I was getting deeper into my being, I was as usual working out too. I had absolutely no goal or any fat/weight loss agenda. I was completely detached from the result of my workout. I did not put any conditions on my fitness regime. I just did my workouts and ate right. And as I started becoming more aware and as things started coming into balance, I started losing my fat too. Because of the awareness, I came in touch with my body, what it is, what is it saying, what suits it. Our bodies are very wise, if you are able to listen to what it says, more than half of our life issues would get sorted. Since then I have been spiritually inclined and now my work too is related to spiritual and healing aspects of life.

The workouts

As I mentioned, I have been working out since a kid, but since the last 3-4 years, I have been very consistent. I do cardio, weights, functional training and yoga. I have had phases, it started with 6-8 months of rigorous yoga, then I shifted to weights and yoga, later it was functional training and currently it is weights and cardio. I keep changing my workout regime every couple of months. The only thing I would suggest is that never do only cardio, always team up your cardio with functional training or weights. I listen to what my body wants and then I use my mind to chalk out the program and my heart to fully get into it with unconditional love, no goals, no targets, just fitness. As much as an expert you are about workouts, a trainer will always help. They help you go that extra mile. Keep trying new things, give your body a treat, your body too needs a change.


It is extremely important to eat right. NEVER put your body into a starvation mode, it will only take you downhill. No skipping of meals or avoiding carbs, no crash diets. Each body type is different, and to know your body type take help of an expert. I eat 6-7 meals a day and I am trying to reach 8. I eat rotis, rice also [not necessary brown, most of the times its white rice] I don’t take any health drinks or bars. My protein source is 4-5 egg whites every day, milk, dal, chicken, paneer, soya, curds etc. I don’t eat junk food, bakery items, nor sweets. [just once in awhile] I haven’t had sugar at all since 4-5 years. I don’t deprive myself from anything. Today my body has learned to eat what is good for it, so I don’t feel that I am missing anything. To achieve this, it takes time, but you can do it.  Nourish your body, eat lovingly, enjoy your meals.

Other tips

-          Get inspired by others, but don’t compare. Find your own way, don’t blindly copy anything. Make friends with your body. I actually talk to my cells while working out.
-          You did not gain weight over-night, you will not lose it over-night. Trust your body, give it atleast 6 months to acknowledge the fact that things are changing, patterns are breaking and now it has to get fitter.
-          To start with, I would suggest, join a gym or any group class, it gives you a feeling, that you are not alone on this journey and people are supporting you. This helps you boost your confidence and trust levels. Eventually, when you get on track, then your support system builds internally.
-          Always give your body one day rest from the workouts.
-          While working out, wear good fitting clothes, it helps you feel  good about yourself.
-          Right shoes is VERY important.
-          Always remember If you are fit, you can work towards rest of the things you want in life. What is the point if you have achieved it all, but are unfit to live your desired life.
-          Most importantly, only if you will accept your present self, you will be able to walk towards a better you. So don’t whine or criticize yourself, just be grateful of what you are and strive for what you want to be.
-          Prioritize fitness always, take out time for your body.  Start with 15 mins and soon you will be able to reach an hour.
This post is about my personal experience.  I wish all of you out there a fit and a happy life! Cheers!

P.S - I would like to thank my parents [for owning the gym!]
Bimlaji – who has been my trainer for a very long time [ I train with other trainers too but always get back with her!]
Prerna – For helping me with my spiritual journey
My friends – for complimenting me every now -n-then!
Tara – my maid, who helps me with my diet!