Excitement in Simplicity...

Why does it become so easy to like something or someone and then so very difficult to let it go and move away from it/them? A part of us likes to cling on[we might not admit, but we all do it..unknowingly] and a part of us also likes the fact that someone else too clings on to us [again we would refuse to admit]. My point here is, why do we become so weak or if I may say, so stupid? Why do we drive ourselves into unwanted zones and then expect to be wanted there! Dint we read the sign at the beginning itself ‘not wanted’. We make an excuse here too,’ we thought we could change things’ Really? Why would we think so!? 

Why are we hell bent on having so much of drama? Not only it takes away time, energy, emotions, gives you pain, but it also keeps you away from the good things of life, things that we deserve, things that are best for us.

If we are sad, we will listen to sad songs! Why? We are already sad, why do we want to feel more sad and lost. Are we secretly enjoying our sadness? How harmful is this! Imagine this - We are the biggest hurdle of our life.

We like stories, and we like them more if they have twists and we do that to our lives too, create unnecessary twists and hurdles in life. Seriously when I actually sit down and think, I know it for sure, life isn’t that difficult as we make it, its simple, its easy, we just need to slightly shift our perspective and then everything will be clear! Its shocking to believe how we make our life exactly opposite of what we have thought. Its all the game of desires and the inner most desires. We need to figure both of them out! Lets put an end to self-destruction. How much ever I love drama, today I take my step towards a drama-free life, I say no to drama, yes to simplicity! I say no to self created hurdles and yes to life’s gifts for me! I refuse to screenplay my life and accept the suspense, because there lies excitement in simplicity too!

Why not me?

Why not me?

I know someday the flowers, you will notice,

The fragrance you will enjoy,

When the shield of love will be around you,

When the longingness of being together will hold you

I know one day, the magic will work,

Here goes the wand and there will be the misty love!

And then will start the series of stories,

‘I once knew no love, but all I know today is only love!’

It will all be about her, the day, the night, the moon, the stars!

I know someday, you too would enchanted..

What i really don’t know is..

Why not me?

Its the horizon you see, which is just an illusion,

A trick we let ourselves tricked into

I wonder am i the trick or its the horizon?

Let the reality go by,

I wish I could be atleast an illusion

Be a desire, be a little wanted, be a small dream..

I know someday the world will be different for you

I wonder, why I couldn’t build that..

I just think..

Why not me?

To the man who introduced me to love...

This blog is about me, every word here describes me, my emotions, my thoughts. I just had to write a few words about one of the most intimate part of my life – movies. And in this part of my life, the dean was, is and always be Yash Chopra!

My words might not be able to do justice, but this is my way of paying tribute to the man who introduced ‘love’ in my life! He gave me the angry young man and later turned him into this extremely romantic man that I till date drool – Mr. Bachchan! 

He gave me silsila where i cannot take my eyes off, 

of my favourite pair Amitabh-rekha. 

Everytime i watch Rekha in silsila 

and everytime i go like ’wow’! 

The brilliance of ‘lamhe’ still leaves me

speechless! 

And I don’t remember since when i have been going like ‘shona shona shona..chandni..oh meri chandni’! The intense romantic scenes, the rain sequences, chiffon saris, lata mangeshkar’s songs! It has always been just so awesome!

Why? Oh why don’t we have more of his films! I was disappointed when he announced ‘jab tak hai jaan’ as his last movie, and i told my friends, ‘oh he is just saying it, you see in couple of years, he will announce his next movie!’ 

There is so much to write, feel, talk. 

I would rather sum it up in this line - 

I love him, respect him, idolize him. Yashji, you will always be the best!

him...him...him [how many more] and her...

How bad could it get, when it was only the best she thought,

He was the bad boy, she found good in him too!

In the matured one, she found the child!

He was Mr. Perfect, little mischief deeds here and there kept her smiling!

With someone who wanted nothing, she left saying she could never have nothing to give!

When there were plans of life ahead, the sunset decided a different course!

Then there is him who wants less, but silently wishes all, she gives him all silently,willingly...

For every him, she somehow turned out to be the step before the ultimate happiness!

Where does she step now? Is she someone’s ultimate?

How bad could it get, when it was only the best she thought.

Some one’s fantasy, some one’s rebound,

In her kitty she carries her question mark..

Is here her answer?

is this the end of the search or beginning of a new find?

Wish she takes a step back, only if she would know, there is more to her best!

Only if she could stop playing with the words ‘i am fine’...

Only if she could break down and hate them all!

Maybe if she would stop looking for, she would find one!

How bad could it get, when it was only the best she thought.

The thug and my mess!

When all was a mess, it was still not enough,

I thought of a mess, which was prettier..

I smile, i laugh, even though i know,

The monster is round the corner,

At least those few miles i will feel the love

Yes it is love again, and it is me again,

We go hand-in-hand, partners in crime!

You are the thug, you never denied,

Meanwhile I fantasize a romance with you.

Somewhere, at a certain point, the thug knows...

He knows, his heart does skip a beat, but not enough to change the route!

Me will say never to stay, our destinations are forbidden...

But the path we share, must i confess, i love

Till eternity, warmth will always spread, love will always linger,

When thoughts will wander to our path.

For if i may say, i love this path, i love this thug

The day we separate, will be the end of that path,

Not our journey,

someday we will sit down again,

With glasses clinging, memories intact,

will remember the little love story of the thug and my mess!

Cheers!

Here I am on the last page today. A chapter that stirred a lot in me, brought me illusions, smiles with sadness, hopes and revival of dreams. One of the most memorable chapters uptil now.Today I want this chapter to end. I am looking for a new beginning, a new chapter. 

Life has given me a wonderful opportunity, I intend to do justice! Would I want to erase things from past? Without any hesitation, I would say, Not a single moment...each of those moments came together to give me the the future of my dreams. 

Its too early to forgive and forget as of now, but I know I will be there too, very soon. Looking forward to the change, and knowing myself better. Many more chapters to come, infinite ends and beginnings. 

I choose to end my end and start my beginning with a applause of appreciation for life and its journey. Life  aint unfair, it just has its own way, and I choose to trust the process of life! Cheers to the journey from here onwards! Cheers to me and my beliefs! I am just being modest – I deserve awesomeness!

Moving on...

Two words.. ’moving on’ could be as simple as moving on to another topic of discussion or as complicated as moving on in life...

Have done both of it, but this time I could say its ‘the father’ of all ‘moving ons’!

Oh yes! Thousands of questions, millions of doubts,shattering of the trust system,destruction of confidence,lose of emotions and I could go on. But amidst all this, somewhere in the corner ‘Life’ does smile at you, because it knows, soon you too will be smiling!

I read somewhere, ’You were never a waste of time. You were just the harsh realization that I could do better!’ Today when I think of it, each word of this statement seems right. 

But yes there are wounds, deep ones. There are still some mornings when you wake up and you realize, you were crying in your sleep. There are still some of those laughs, you laugh just to hide your tears. And then there is that excruciating pain somewhere in you and suddenly the emptiness. 

Its those time when you realize you were so stupid to crib about any other thing, because now those things seem awesome. But towards the end, there is a beautiful gift for you. The gift of 'life', to start new, to start better!

I also stumbled upon this line, ’letting go is easier, when we have someone to rebuild with us one brick at a time!’ I am super lucky to have my people, my angels with me! And I know what I build this time will be the most beautiful, most divine, because it has God’s wish in it and ‘life’s support! It cant go wrong, thats my belief. 

It hurts, but soon, there will be enough happiness to overshadow and fade off that pain. And I have taken my first step towards it. I am moving on!

A Goofy Sunday!

So its one of those phase in life when life tells you 'Honey, I am life, I can do anything with you, absolutely anything! You either walk with me or rebel. This choice is yours!'  

Tough choice indeed! I did both.. and then made the decision to walk with it...it aint simple at all, but what the heck! Life has its mysterious ways to give you the best, and I will play along, as i want the best and so does my friend Goofy! Life for him too is knitting plans, plans of success, happiness and contentment!

Both of us are amazed looking at the awesomely strange path life has chosen for us! And we met to share this ‘happening event’ over a cup of coffee, which turned out to be more than that!

Not often do we meet, but whenever we, we compensate for the lost time! This time the compensation lead us directly into the clouds [i mean it, the picture along with this post will say it all!] An hour drive with some of the most beautiful evergreen songs. Yes! We spend this hour with kishorda, lataji, jagjit singh and many more[some ‘not original’ too] And yes, ofcourse goofy and his ‘goofiness’!

Reaching at our destination, i felt like i was wrapped in the blanket of green! If i could minus the crowd there, i am sure it felt i had reached another world. World of beauty, that i can not describe in words. You had to be there to see it! it was misty, the soft breeze humming and then the occasional monsoon shower! The image is captured in my heart and soul!

It was time to go back to the real world and we took our steps back! The fun wasn’t over yet, i told goofy that and he ensured that! The ride back was with same old melodies and the same old goofiness![i am smiling while i am writing this] returning to our coffee place we laughed some more, sighed a little and made plans to make spontaneous plans! It was a Sunday beautifully spend with unexpected smiles which will always linger in my thoughts! All thanks to goofy! It was a special day and will always remain so!

P.S – that was your birthday treat!

Intimacy with life...

 'I studied hard, yet scored less’ 

‘my friend ditched me’ 

‘my love life is pathetic’ 

‘nobody understands me’

‘my boss hates me’ ...and we could just overflow the ocean with the complains we have, and all of us sum it up in one sentence. ‘life is so unfair.’

A little pain, two drops of tears and first thing to be blamed is ‘life’.Its probably the easiest thing to do. And there is no denying, we all do it, even I! So if this is usual, what am i writing about here? 

Well I just got thinking, if life had life and would have been a man or a woman amongst us, would we still, so easily throw that ball of blame to life’s face? Have we ever wondered that when we say,’life is unfair’ and just then if life turns back and questions us,’have you been fair to me?' 

Really, have we been fair to life? Have we ever considered, its life that brings us in this world, takes us through our journey and then away from here. It sticks with us throughout, through our goods and bads. Have we ever taken this point into consideration?

When was the last time when you smiled or laughed or were loved and you whispered a ‘thank you’ or felt gratitude towards life? Aren’t we being ‘unfair to life’? Take out some time to spend with your life, just you and your life, say a hi, give a nod, let life know, that you value it, show some love, don’t we always say, 'we do good, we get good'. Lets all be ‘fair to life’ I am grateful, I love my life ,we are the partner in crime!

Love yours too and express it, after all we all need some love, our lives too! Get intimate with your life!

Imperfectly perfect!

I really wonder why does the word ‘perfect’ even exist. Personally I am not very fond of it, its an over-rated word. 

Most of the times I have seen/experienced in the search of this so called ‘perfect something' we lose out on to so many amazingly beautiful imperfect moments. The chase to ‘perfect’ I believe is the major issue to us. 

The horror of ‘perfection’ has been painted on us right from our childhood. Some of us are able to re paint it, choosing our favourite color, whereas some just get stuck with the same tint of the same color till their grave. Isn’t that sad?

If everything is supposed to be ‘perfect’ then what is the point of us even going through this journey called ‘life’ ? All of us here understand the importance of ‘perfection’ in everything we do. What I really wish is for all of us to know the equal importance of ‘imperfection’ too. Let both of it go hand-in-hand. 

There is nothing called as ‘perfect family’ or 'perfect job' or 'perfect relationship'. Its good to look ahead, but once in awhile glance back and appreciate the distance you have covered. Take some pride, you haven’t done bad mate! Hold for a moment, breathe a little, feel it! The day we stop struggling for perfection we will realize what we have had throughout was just so imperfectly perfect! 

The brightest star – thats for me!

The American actor Scott cann said - Good things happen when you get your priorities straight.

This statement set me thinking about how prioritizing your life changes its course.

Instead of preparing for good or bad in life, I prefer preparing for life as it holds your hand every moment!

As I look at my life from the priority point of view, I have scored decent.There have been times when I have chosen my priority, and at others I chose what attracted me.

The most crucial point is when one has to pick one of this –

 - I WANT to do this

and

 - I MUST do this

My friend purple says – ‘most of the times i have decided on ‘i want to do this’ but for major events in life i choose ’i must do this’ Its a difficult decision as priorities are not always as attractive as the other options that you are leaving behind.’

So my question here is...then why is it a priority in the 1^st place?

On which she smiles, her eyes twinkle and she replies! ‘the priorities in long term shine as bright as the brightest star and then nothing, absolutely nothing else seems attractive!’

I have chosen my priority, my other option being far more attractive. But I want the brightest star, not a temporary shine!

I believe it to be my most important decision..it makes me nervous...gives me sleepless nights...infinite thoughts...makes me lose my sanity...

But then who said the road to the brightest star was simple! :-)

Would you ever know that?

Living a routine, doing the chores...

Painting a picture for my life ahead..

My heart has always skipped a beat,

the moment you have crossed my mind!

Would you ever know that?

The times we have met...the moments we have lived

I re run in my mind...feel it in my heart

My cheeks have blushed deep red...

My knees have trembled a little..

I have smiled to myself,

and shut my eyes to feel your lips gently on mine

that unknown shadow, I would name it you.

Would you ever know that?

My eyes would be meeting my prince in the frame I paint,

Vows for life would be promised with him

I would be smiling, he too would be happy..

But as a strand of my hair will fall across my face..

And as the breeze would whisper in my ears..

In that small moment, I would think of you.

Would you ever know that?

I dare not say, I love you..

Where do i know what love is..

I barely can say...few moments I spent with you

Lasts with me for days to come...

You are the secret, I share with my desires..

You are the pleasure, my fantasies yearn..

You are the brightest stroke in the painting I paint

Would you ever know that?